


Hey Luhan, Why Do You Like Me?

by mppcmanual



Series: Love of Rare Pairings [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 17:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7722706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mppcmanual/pseuds/mppcmanual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's a friend. He's my friend. Then why the hell would he like me?!</p><p>How Kyungsoo figures out what to do when Luhan confesses his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from AFF.
> 
> Dislaimer: I only own the story.

I roll on the bed, attempting to filter out the sound of the alarm waking me up for work. Ugh, work. I love my job, but can't I just stay at home and do all the work from the comfort of my own room?

 Fine, whiners losers. But 5 more minutes wouldn't hurt, would it?

 "Wake up! Wake up! Wake the fucking up! Get your lazy ass off the bed now! Make yourself useful, for once!"

 Shit. I shouldn't have let my brother play with my phone again.

 Squinting against the too-bright-screen of my phone, I noticed the WhatsApp notifications. Huh. Apart from my mom texting me daily and my brother texting random shits occasionally, I sadly have no reasons to expect any form of communication from anybody else, especially one during the night.

Lifting myself up from the bed, I unlock the phone. Oh, this is weird. Why would Luhan contact me through WhatsApp instead of our official messaging system in the office (yeah, we cheated our time off SOMETIMES).

 

_Hey Kyungsoo. I hope you're doing great_

_There's something I've been wanting to tell you_

_This might not be the perfect way, but…_

_I like you, Soo_

_I know you're half a world away from me_

_And we might not have the chance to meet often_

_And you might not even think long-distanced relationships work_

_And you might not even have thought about me in another way than friends_

_And you might have thought I should have done this long ago_

_And you might even already have a boyfriend, but…_

_I really want to let you know because I think you deserve to_

_You don't have to answer right away_

_(Unless you already have a bf)_

_But I really hope you would think about it_

_Until I get your answer, please take care of yourself_

…

Shit, I'm still dreaming, right?

 

* * *

 

"Hi, I'm Luhan, based in London. And you are?"

 "I'm Do Kyungsoo, from LA." 

 We met during a company training in Houston. There were only 12 of us in the 2-month training, so naturally we would get together and spend a lot of time with each other. I was particularly close to Chanyeol who was close to Baekhyun, who were really close to Luhan. So we somehow ended up hanging out together - breakfast, lunch, dinner, movies, weekend, studies. Never once did Luhan show any interest in me, and never once had I have any interest in him.

"Hey Soo, wanna go shopping with me, Chanyeol and Luhan?" I looked up to see the face of Baekhyun just a couple of inches away from mine. I backed away a little.

"Uhm, no. I have some things to do tonight."

"Oh come on! You said the same thing yesterday. What thing do you have? Are you working?" Chanyeol attached his-everything-is-too-long-self to the my side. Where did this kid come from?

"No, I'm not working. I just have something to settle tonight."

"Come on, Kyungsoo! What's so important that you would ditch us? Aren't we your bestest friends?"

I could feel my blood rising, but not wanting to scare these kids away, I kept my calmest voice. "I have things to settle, so I won't be joining you guys."

"No, you are coming with us. Aren't you tired of being cooped up in your room? I can't spend another minute alone in my room. Ugh, so depressing. I'm not gonna let you to be all depressed and gloomy. Come on, we don't even have assignment for tonight. Don't tell me you are secretly studying without us. That is so uncool, bro."

That's it. I pushed Chanyeol off me. I saw their shocked expressions, but without another word I just turned and left them, managing to bump into Luhan.

"Hey, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Let me go, Luhan, before I hurt you."

Fuck. I was so close to breaking down. Luckily, he let go of me and I ran as fast as I could away from them. I avoided them the whole afternoon and when I got to the hotel, I took the liberty to take a nap.

Truth be told, I would rather not show that side of me to them. I was so used to living and working by myself, so spending every waking moment with people got me drained and depressed. Too much human interactions, I believed.

I turned and tossed. It was too hot, but I couldn't be bothered to leave the safety blanket-cocoon I have in my bed.

Knock knock knock.

Fuck. Can't Baekhyun and Chanyeol leave me alone?

I refused to get out of bed, but the knockings didn't stop even after 15 minutes. I jumped out of bed and yanked the door open.

"Can't you guys leave me the hell alone?!"

To my surprise, it wasn't the duo.

It was Luhan.

"Sorry. I bought you dinner. Thought you would be hungry. I'll leave if you want."

I was stunned to see him. That was the first time we ever talked alone without the presence of the other two. I never noticed how soft his voice was, or how brown his eyes were, or how tall he actually is compared to me.

"Oh. No. I mean, sorry. Ugh, I mean, thanks. I'll pay you. Do you, uhm, wanna come in?"

He looked reluctant, but then he stepped in. I closed the door, but not moving from my spot. This is awkward.

"Uhm, thanks for the food. How much is it?"

He put the food on the dining table, smiled and took a seat. "No worries about that. I just thought you would be hungry once you wake up. You might need to reheat the food, though. I think it has gone cold."

I took out a plate and poured the food out of its container. Shrimp fried rice, just the right comfort food. Putting away the food in the microwave, I turned to look at my guest.

"So, uhm, did you have dinner with Baekhyun and Chanyeol?"

He lifted up his gaze from his phone. "Yeah. They are really worried about you. And a bit scared, I think. They wanted to come see you, but I think you might need the privacy so I told them to wait it out." He scratched the back of his neck, looking hesitant. "I know we haven't talked to each other much, but you can tell me if something's bothering you."

"Uhm, it's nothing actually. I just needed some alone time. I'll be back to normal in no time."

Dead silence. I was about to turn away from him, but next thing I know I was staring into his soul-sucking doe eyes.

Big mistake.

Shit.

"I just... Got tired of seeing people everyday. I'm not saying they are not good company, it's just... I'm not used to having people to entertain and have to keep my energy up just to talk to them. Before this, I get through the days without even having to get a single word out. And now, people are expecting me to talk to them, interact with them, give them reactions. I don't know how to do those things. It's... weird, and I'm just tired of keeping the same face. Can't I keep quiet for a minute or two? I don't even have the energy to stand up right now, let alone socializing." I rubbed my face, now realizing how tired I really was. "Can't I just become a llama and not have to talk to people?"

At this, he cracked up. He stood up and walked towards me. Not knowing what to do, I just stood rooted to my spot. "Out of all the animals you could've chosen, why llama? Hahaha. Cute, so cute."

What...?

Luhan, so close.

No.

Red lips? Twinkling eyes? Crinkling nose?

And a hand softly ruffling my hair and another hand pinching the fleshiest point of my left cheek.

What the hell?

 

* * *

  

We didn't talk about that incident after that night. He left afterwards, and the next morning we both pretended nothing had happened. I got crankier, but after a round or two of scary movies that got both Baekhyun and Chanyeol screaming and screeching like banshees, my mood got considerably better and things went normal.

Ugh. Why of all people would he choose me? This is a big freaking no.

Shit. Now I only have 15 minutes to get ready. Today is totally going to be a bad day.

And a bad day it is indeed.

"You are needed at the client's office, immediately."

"We need this issue solved immediately."

"You have 2 hours to have the main part loaded, and don't leave this office until everything else is in the system."

"Sorry bro, dinner is just over and all we have left is this bread."

Fuck.

And just like that, I am already in bed again, clutching my phone, squinting my eyes on the still-too-bright-screen, thinking about what I should reply to Luhan.

Chances for tonight: **100% HELL NO**.


	2. Day 2

Waking up today feeling less shittier than yesterday, I have decided to talk to Xiumin who happens to know Luhan.

I have thought about it all night. I know I should have talked to Baekhyun or Chanyeol about this, but knowing those two drama kings/queens, I have decided against it. I know they would totally flip if they knew about Luhan's confession, but I don't think I can handle their reaction and emotions right now.

What I need now is a voice of reason, and that's what I aim to get from Xiumin.

This plan, however, does not take into account the likeliness of Xiumin, the calm-and-content-probably-high-on-caffeine man, to be ecstatic about me, Kyungsoo-the-cold-and-mute-loner, being involved in any kind of relationship with another human being.

"Oh my god! Are you serious? Did he ask you to be his boyfriend? Show me the text, please please please. This is totally gonna be good!"

Facepalm. Totally not expecting this.

I have to spend another half an hour calming him down and stopping his laughs and listening to I never thought this day would finally come.

Huh? What does he mean by this day would finally come?

* * *

 

"… and he just said 'Oh, okay'. I mean, is that all he can think of replying?"

And I heard a lot other voices laughing once Chanyeol finished his sentence. It was too early on Monday for them to be laughing that way.

"Hey guys. What's up?"

I took the empty seat on Baekhyun's right and set down the food tray. Nothing much is to my liking that day, so I just settled with fruits and drinks.

"Hey cutie." Kai, my next-desk-neighbor, called out from across me while Chanyeol and the others bellowed out.

What the hell?

"Uhm, what's going on?"

"Hahaha. I was just telling them how you said 'Oh, okay' when my friend called you cute."

Huh. Isn't that a reasonable reaction when someone you don't know stalked your Facebook and called you cute. I mean, I could have responded better by saying thanks, but I didn't think that matters much.

I just shrugged and returned to my food.

"But seriously though, you are cute. If I didn't have a girlfriend already, and well, if you were not so scary, I would definitely hit on you." Kai dared winked and smirked at me.

"Huh. Dream on, man."

"Aww, come on Soo. One date. We can go anywhere you like, baby."

My initial fight-or-flight reaction was to give him the finger, but hey, some flirting once in a while won't hurt and they all looked like they needed some entertainment.

"Oh really? What about this Saturday? I know your GF is out of town."

Dead silence. Everybody was either staring at me or gaping at me. It seems like I'm really good at creating silent atmosphere.

I packed up my food and left the table, not forgetting the last say to Kai, "Pick me up at 8."

I could feel their eyes staring as I put on my sassiest diva walk and left the dining hall.

I have totally forgotten about the 'date' until Friday when Luhan brought it up during our movie session.

"So, where are you going tomorrow?"

Side-glancing him, I took a big bite of the pepperoni pizza. "Dinner maybe. I'm not gonna wake up till the sun set."

He looked a bit confused, but that might be because my mouth was full he couldn't hear me clearly.

"He's gonna take you downtown?"

Huh?

"Who's he?"

"Kai. I thought you guys are going out for a date tomorrow."

And that day was the day I learned that having a pineapple go up the wrong cavity is the worst pain you could ever experience while eating a pizza.

"Why would he take me to a date? He's got a GF!"

"Urm, I thought you were serious about going out with him."

I spluttered again. "No way, man. I was just playing with him."

He kept silence, but I could see a wave of relief going through his face. "So then, wanna go out? I mean, we can have dinner and go to that club downtown. The others went there last week. They said it was quite okay. Better than having nothing else to do. I could use some dance and drink now. 5 weeks of those cramped modules is killing me."

I smiled. "Sure, but I have tell you I'm not much of a dancer, though."

He chuckled. I found it very soothing and it could easily lift up the mood. "No worries. We're just gonna have some fun." He took a sip of his beer. "We can ask the others if they wanna come along."

Surely enough, almost everyone came with us. We spent the night drinking, talking, laughing, dancing (or attempting to in my case), and letting loose after the 5 week containment in the hotel. Never had I ever enjoyed spending time in a much too crowded place, but coming out of my shell once in a while is definitely fine.

"You had fun?"

I turned my head to the person sitting next to me.

"Yup. Although I might need some fresh air now. I think someone just spilled his puke-infested-beer on me. I smell like shit."

He just laughed. Without another word he took me by the wrist and dragged me to the nearest exit. I caught a glimpse of Baekhyun and Chanyeol in the center of the stage. Good, they were having their time making a fool out of themselves.

We exited the club and the night air hit me. Finally.

"Thanks Luhan. I think I might head back now. Are you going back inside?"

"Nah. I'll head back too. It's past midnight anyways. Hey, I saw a basketball court on the way. Wanna check that out?"

We eventually got back to the hotel at 4 a.m. after he beat me in 1-on-1, got chased by the night guards, and managed to wake up the whole neighborhood when Luhan accidentally threw a rock on a German Shepherd which in turn alerted all the other dogs around the vicinity.

Oh yeah. It was one hell of a night.

* * *

 

"You should totally give it a thought. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to give him a chance. He means it when he said he likes you, I can assure you that." He smiles. "Just make sure you let him know your decision. Don't hurt him by leaving him hanging just like that."

Xiumin pats my head one final time - he declared me as his pet penguin once and I have given up on going against him since - and turns back to his work.

Okay.

Maybe Xiumin's right. Maybe this is not really a bad idea. Maybe, just a big maybe, I can give him a chance.

I mean, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Luhan. He's smart. He's nice. He's caring. He's nice to talk to. He cooks. And he's definitely good looking. All in all, he's one fine specimen.

But now, all that's left is the distance we have between us.

The 8 hour time difference.

Plus the fact that I rarely keep in touch with my friends.

Plus the fact that he's usually out of the city to places with limited Internet access.

Plus the fact that I'm just awkward communicating with people in general and tend to avoid it altogether.

Isn't that a recipe for disaster for us to try and get this 'relationship' working?

Fine. I'll think about it in the train. Afterall, this will not be my first long-distance relationship.

Come to think of it, almost all my relationships were long-distanced. I dated someone 2 hours away from me when I was in high school. We started out living in the same city, but then we went to different schools. In university, I dated someone who were on a completely different continent and we managed to stay in the relationship for 3 years until he got someone else to marry.

Huh. I know whom I would ask next for some 'insight'.

_Hey bro. Long-distance relationship. Go or no go?_

_How long?_

_8 hr diff. London._

_Definitely a go._

Since I already get the clear from my brother, chances for tonight:  **60% MAYBE**.


	3. Day 3

Waking up feeling much less shittier than the past 2 days, I head on to the office with a small smile lurking on my lips.

Last night was spent thinking through all the possible scenarios that could happen if I did and did not accept Luhan's confession. What if I did accept him but in the end I have no feelings at all for him? What if I didn't accept him but later on I felt like I've made the biggest mistake by letting him go? Even worse, what if all this is planned and just a prank he pulled after a dare from his friends?

Huh. That's kind of unlikely for someone like him.

I have left the dating scene for almost 3 years, with the last relationship ended when I accidentally found out that the guy I was dating had actually got engaged to a woman in his university, and they were planning on getting married upon graduation. It wouldn't be such a bad breakup, considering I have always known that he swung both ways and had plans on getting married and reproduce, but when he said that it wasn't my business to know about his engagement, I almost left him with a broken arm and missing at least a tooth. I was so mad. Do I really matter that little to him that I'm not worthy of the news? I would have congratulated him and at least leave in peace if he ever told me the truth. And he even had the balls to say he wouldn't mind having me by his side and beg me to never leave him!

Shudder. I can't go back to the past and get myself depressed again. Bouncing back from that phase in my life wasn't all rainbow and unicorns, but I somehow managed to pull through and keep my two lungs filled with air, and not feel like drowning myself in bitter coffee and endless tears concoctions after each sleepless night. I came out of it alive, and I intend to keep that going for as long as I could.

I know what others would say about Luhan. _'He's nice'_ and _'caring'_ and _'sweet'_ and _'thoughtful'_ and  _'can be a hopeless romantic'_ and _'cooks well'_ and _'I would have married him if I'm still single'_ (the last one was spoken by our very pregnant friend on one of her more recent you-got-me-pregnant-so-don't-complain-fights with her ever-so-understanding husband). And I know I might be overthinking things. But since that last breakup, I haven't completely open myself to anyone. It might be from the fear of history repeating itself, or it might just be me trying to protect my heart. It has been shattered once, as much as I don't want to admit it, and I don't feel like breaking it again and having to go through each and every broken piece and put them back together and pretend to have it all fixed when I know there are lots of missing pieces. I don't know if I'll ever survive that again.

And there's also a possibility of me breaking his heart. After all the less-serious relationships I went through, the reasons for the breakups were always the same.

_'You're too unemotional. I don't feel loved.'_

_'Sometimes I don't even know if you are my boyfriend or just a drinking buddy.'_

_'You pay more attention to your job and make me feel lonely.'_

_'Well, I just want you for the sex but since you are too busy, I'd better have it with someone else.'_

Combining the tendency of me being a negligent, insensitive human and the distance between us plus the lack of physical communication, I would definitely think this won't work. Really, has Luhan not thought about that?

"Good morning Kyungsoo."

I spin around so fast that I almost lose my footing in front of the coffee machine. Luckily, I could regain my composure and see the person who had just greeted me.

"Oh. Morning Xiumin."

"You got that thinking face so early in to the day. What's up?"

I frown. I have a thinking face?

"Uhm. Nothing much. Just thinking about things."

"You mean, just thinking about Luhan?" He smirks. Damn, I know I cannot get out of this once he has put his interest in it.

"Well, yeah. I've done some thinking last night, and I can't say I'm nowhere near the conclusion, but I can't actually say that I have the solid decision."

"Care to share with me? I know I can't push you into deciding something you don't want. But maybe another insight can make things clearer to you."

He's right. I've been holding a battle in my own head that I know I could never find the final decision if I let it go on.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe then I'll stop having a discussion with myself. I'm getting tired of my own voice, really." I give him a small smile. "Sorry if I seem a bit forward, but how do you know things will work out between you and Kris?"

Xiumin has been dating Kris for the past 4 years, whom he had met when he was visiting his cousin in Canada, who happened to be in endless rivalry with Kris, the neighbor. This older colleague of mine had kicked the ass of his cousin into apologizing to Kris over a prank-gone-bad (that he wouldn't share in fear of people doing the same thing), and from then on he had been in close contact with Kris until about a year later, Kris confessed his feelings for Xiumin.

Sounds familiar?

"That's the beauty of our relationship: we don't. There's no way of telling if our relationship will last till the day we die, or will be over in the next couple of hours. We are always hanging by that thread, waiting for it to snap. I won't say that it was easy, but with trust, understanding and effort, we manage to stay as we are today." He takes a sip of his espresso and continues. "I know the distance may seem a bit scary, and it is. I can't count the days where I curse him being so far apart that by the time I have to tell him of my problems, I would have gotten over them myself and would no longer need him for support. It might be true most of the time and you might find it to be unnecessary to talk over those things, but these things make them feel wanted and needed. And make us feel better knowing someone is always there to back us up." Another sip. " Do you have doubts that he would be wary of the distance, or you have something else to think about?"

"Well, I don't want to be overthinking things. But what if I fell into the same routine as my last relationships? It was already hard enough to give them 100% of my attention when they are right in front of my eyes, let alone for someone 5000 miles away. Communication is not even something I'm comfortable with. What if he mistook my silence as anger, when in fact I just need my time alone? What if he thought, this is not the Kyungsoo he wants to be with and get tired of me? What if he saw the things he didn't want to see, the broken side of me, the unpatched me?" I can hear my voice going smaller and almost fading with every word I said. Damn, why does it still hurt.

"D.O, we are what we think we are. If we think that we are worthless of anybody's time, we might as well just pack up and live somewhere in the woods where no man can reach. Everybody has got to have something broken in them." He gives me an assuring pat on the shoulder. "Just remember this. If he likes you, he would accept you for who you are. Not for who he thinks you are. Not for who he wants you to be. He would make you see that being broken doesn't mean you are weak, and your insecurities can usually become your strength. If he likes you, he wouldn't find it in him to tell you things that could hurt you. But he would also not let you hurt him. Communicate, and you’d be surprised by what you can achieve just by talking to him and be truthful to each other. Love is not simple, but there's no reason to make it more complicated than need be. Take one step at a time, even if they are baby steps. Persevere, but never lose sight of the path, and never think of it as a burden. Treat it as a journey that you can share with someone you hold dear. Challenges will come your way, that's inevitable. But you have him, and he has you. Work together, and a sweet reward will find you."

I lift up my eyes to meet his strong but warm gaze. That is so true, and that certainly clears things up for me.

Yes, I've made up my mind. And yes, there certainly is a silver lining at the end of this dark rainy era. With the end of the rain comes the rainbow and maybe, at the end of the rainbow we would find a lovely house instead of a pot of gold and a long-lasting relationship waiting to be ridden instead of unicorns.

Well, who knows.


End file.
